Monday, December 29, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year

So how was everyone's Christmas?

Ours was great. We decided to hit the road this year, and traveled to both my hometown, as well as Dan's. We ate way too much food, stayed up way too late, and the kid scored TONS of loot..ahem, I mean, gifts. He had so much stuff that he had to open his gifts over a three day time frame. Madness!

Recap of the trip:
  • I confirmed my theory that first time grandparents are insane, and this time I have picture proof. Ian's grandfather, my father, decided that it would be a good thing for Ian to use his laptop as a toy. Seriously, you can't be any crazier than that. I believe some of his email contacts are going to be a bit confused as to why they received an email that reads kuhi43543iunhbndk/,.//-
  • Ian was more social than normal. Ian is kind of like a cat (which may be why he loves them so much) in that he has to get to know you in his own way and on his terms. The worst thing you can do when meeting him for the first time is gush all over him, and then try to pick him up. No sir, you're immediately on his list, and trust me, you don't want to be there. The best course of action is to acknowledge his presence with a hello, and then completely ignore him. I know this sounds harsh, but it works. Ian will take several minutes to analyze how you, the newcomer, interact with us, and if you meet his approval he will generally, but not always, work his way toward you. Anyway, this weekend many people broke etiquette for an "Ian meet n greet" but he was fairly quick in forgiving them, and even engaged a few people on his own. It was a Christmas miracle.
  • Dan kicked butt at the family domino game. It's pretty much a tradition for my side of the family to have a domino tournament at most family gatherings. This year Dan was "in the zone." You gotta love a man that can talk trash during a game and then back it up.
  • We didn't have any major family arguments. You know the routine: It's the holidays, you're stressed out from shopping, you're surround by extended family that knows exactly how to push your buttons, and you theirs, and depending on the family, there may be alcohol. All these things can lead to an explosive family argument. I'm happy to report, we had none. Score!
  • We stopped by my in-laws house -well, what's left of it- and saw the extensive damage caused by hurricane Ike. Nature is a frightening, yet amazing thing.
Below are the pictures that I promised.



We survived

We're back in town.
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I'm still tired.
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Ian was spoiled rotten.
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Our house is a mess
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Pictures to come

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone reading this has a very Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Last Friday we decided to venture out to the Trail of Lights. This was the first visit for Ian and I was SO excited. For those who aren't familiar, the trail of lights is a 1.25 mile trail of elaborate Christmas displays (41 displays to be exact). Along the trail there is food, entertainment, and crafts. Good stuff.
When we decided to hit the trail, it made me reminisce of Christmas when I was a child. I remember how my parents and our family friends would pile into our van, drive around neighborhoods near and far, oohing and aahing over the intricate Christmas decorations. Good times.

Anyway, after properly overdosing on the nostalgia of Christmases past, Dan and I prepped the diaper bag, grabbed the stroller, along with a few emergency snacks, and made our way towards the park.

Note to self: The fantasy world and the real world are two totally different places.

See in the fantasy world, the trail of lights is a magical place for kids and adults alike. There are Christmas carols playing in the background, children giddy with laughter, parents with their hands interlaced looking lovingly towards each other as well as their child(ren), all the while absorbing the magic that is Christmas.

In the real world however, it's a bunch of overtired kids hopped up on sugar that are up way past their bedtime. They are surrounded by exhausted parents that just got off of work, and had to sit in a ridiculous amount of traffic, and instead of Christmas carols, there is the occasional parental outburst of "HEY, STOP BEING A BRAT!"

Well count us among the tired parents out with a kid up way past his bedtime, but I think we still managed to have a good time. I introduced Ian to wonder that is funnel cakes (which is even more proof that God exists and love us), and we even managed to take a couple of blurry, out of focus pics. I figured out rather early on that we weren't going to have spectacular pictures. There are thousands of people out there, and if you pause for too long, you're bound to be run down by several thousand strollers. Not worth it.

Either way, I hope you enjoy the blurry pics!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Mel's Musings (and Rants)

There have been many times I've had random thoughts pop into my head and I want to post about them, but it doesn't really warrant a full post. I've decided to clump all these thoughts together and put them in a single post (kind of like I did here). Get ready, something tells me this type of post won't be a one time occurrence :)

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Let's start with email etiquette, shall we? When forwarding an email that has been forwarded 1500 previous times, it really pays to take the extra seconds to delete all of the other emails listed in the body of the message. Yes, I'm lazy when it comes to email, and I can't tell you how many I've deleted simply because I got tired of scrolling. Don't judge me.

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I love most everything about the Christmas season: Cold weather, hot chocolate, fires in the fireplace, Christmas decorations and music, Christmas Eve church services and plays...yep, I love most everything, except Christmas shopping. Why do we have to go and ruin perfection by adding in the stress of gift giving (have I mentioned that I hate shopping)? Don't get me wrong, I love buying gifts for kids and seeing their little faces light up, but it's so much harder to buy for adults. Generally, when adults want or need something, they go out and buy it, so when Christmas comes around you have absolutely no idea what to buy them. This then creates a headache for everyone involved. I have an idea. NO GIFTS FOR ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF 18. Who's with me? Seriously, I'm too young to be this stressed out.

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Speaking of Christmas shopping, I have a general PSA. When driving around in the overly crowded parking lots, it actually helps to use the turn signals on your car. I know it's just the parking lot and not the "real road", but it helps the 15,000 other manic shoppers know where the heck you are going. Yes, I realize my OCD is showing.

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lit⋅er⋅al⋅ly [lit-er-uh-lee] –adverb

1. in the literal or strict sense: What does the word mean literally?
2. in a literal manner; word for word: to translate literally.
3. actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city was literally destroyed.
4. in effect; in substance; very nearly; virtually.
definition taken from dictionary.com

Nothing drives me crazier than to hear the word literally used incorrectly. I'm sure I use plenty of words incorrectly, and I'll string a fragment together like nobody's business, but for the love of all that is holy, can people please use this one word properly?

Correct: I went to Walmart Saturday, and I literally stood in line for 30 minutes to buy 2 items.

This statement is quite accurate, and without even a hint of exaggeration. I stood in line for 30 minutes to buy garland for our Christmas tree.

Incorrect: While waiting in line at Walmart, my head literally exploded.

Although I felt like my head would explode, I performed a thorough search of the floor, and I didn't find a single portion of my brain on the ground.

Is that clear? Good.

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Ian is 20 months old (17 months adjusted), and I think I'm beginning to get a glimpse into why the two's are so terrible. Here you have a small person, that has definite opinions, likes/dislikes, and desires, but doesn't have the vocabulary (nor do I have the gift of interpreting tongues) to express exactly what he wants. God help us.

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Speaking of Ian's age, I'll be so glad when he turns two years old. Why? So I can stop describing his age in freaking months! I've tried telling people how old Ian is in years, but for some reason if I say "My son is about 1 1/2 years old," people get this confused look on their face as if I've answered their question in a foreign language. So then I back track and say "He's 20 months old," and then the light bulb goes off above their head and all is right with the world.

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Whew! That felt great. I guess I'll go ahead and end things on this note. I should probably introduce my crazy in spurts instead of all at once.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It makes it all worth it

I'm at home with a sick Ian for the second time in two weeks.

I got a call from his care provider yesterday, saying that Ian had a fever that quickly skyrocketed to 103 degrees. Being the overprotective parent that I am, Dan and I rushed Ian to the doctor, and after an exam, x-ray, and blood work, all per the doctor's request, it turns out it is just a viral infection that has to run its course. After a good nights rest, Ian's temperature has finally returned to normal and he is more himself.

To celebrate a happier kiddo, I decided to cook some of Ian's favorites for breakfast instead of the usual cheerios or oatmeal. The menu consisted of scrambled eggs, chicken apple sausage, and toast with strawberry jelly. After breakfast was over, I began clearing the table, but when I went to unbuckle Ian from the high chair, he stopped me and grabbed my hand. Confused, I said "What's wrong Pooh?", and then he did the sweetest thing. He kissed my hand.

Then, in an attempt to make my heart completely explode, when I picked Ian up all ready to smother him with hugs and kisses, he grabbed my face, pulled it closer to him, and kissed my cheek.

I tell ya, just when I begin to question whether or not I'm cut out for this parenting thing, this kid has a way of making me feel all better.

He's a keeper.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Gobble Gobble


Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Since Ian was still a bit under the weather we decided to stay home for the holiday, but it was still nice. I managed to throw together an impromptu thanksgiving dinner, and the rest of the day was filled with relaxation, football, and Theraflu.

Did you catch that? I said Theraflu. Who was the Theraflu for you ask? Well apparently, the best way to get over a cold is to pass it on to someone else, and Ian, being such a giving child, decided to give his cold to his Daddy. He's such a sweet boy.

But even with two sick men in my house, I still have a lot to be thankful for. I have great family and friends, enough food for a holiday dinner, a roof over my head to protect me from today's rain, and a life full of laughter.

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving and managed to pinpoint a few things in your own life that you are thankful for.

Ok, I gotta run. I need to take another dose of Vitamin C.


turkey picture courtesy of gravityx9

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I guess it was bound to happen

Ian is sick.

Well, it's either a cold or really bad allergies. Either way he's not a happy camper these days.

It all started late last week when we noticed he had a slight cough. By Saturday night, his cough turned into this loud, persistent, sleep disturbing, highly congested hack, and we decided to take him to the doctor early Sunday morning (thank God for our after hours doctor's office).

Thankfully, his oxygen saturation levels are in the acceptable range, so right now we are on a medicinal cocktail of daily steroid treatments combined with frequent breathing treatments via nebulizer.

Seeing how last night was a rough one (he woke up practically every two hours crying and coughing, and also had a low grade fever ) we'll probably make a judgment call Thanksgiving day on whether we will still go out of town.

This is the first cold that Ian has had since we brought him home from the hospital, so I'm dealing with my fair share of "Mommy guilt". Dan is calm and collected as usual :-)

If you get a chance, please say a quick prayer of healing for Ian.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Olbermann: I have some questions

I identify religiously as a Christian, however I am in support of legalizing gay marriage (I explain why here). I know to some this is an oxymoron, and some of my friends disagree with me, but this is my opinion nonetheless.
I stumbled upon a video of Keith Olbermann explaining his take on the subject, and it resonated with me so much I decided to link to it here.


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Who Am I?

You know those goofy people that like to take online personality quizzes? I'm one of them. Here's my latest find: What Punctuation Mark Are You?



You Are a Question Mark



You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning.
And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong.
You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more.
You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises.
Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking.
(But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!)
You excel in: Higher education
You get along best with: The Comma

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I stand in awe

In a country where African-Americans were counted as property instead of people, Americans elected a Black President.

In a country where it was illegal for a person of African ancestry to learn to read and write, Americans elected a Black President.

In a country where Blacks were not allowed to enter the same establishments as Whites, Americans elected a Black President.

If you've come to this blog looking to argue and debate political positions, I'm sorry, you can save that for another day.
Today, I'll be too busy looking my child in the eye and telling him:

"Son, you can be anything you want to be; Even President of the United States of America."

Friday, October 31, 2008

Guess who I met

I know this has been a very intense political season, and with election day right around the corner both major candidates have been feverishly campaigning for those last minute votes, but imagine my surprise when I saw Barack Obama in my neighborhood on Halloween night. Geez, these guys don't take a break do they?

Well, always one for a photo op, I invited Mr. Obama into our home and asked if he would allow me to take a picture of him. He kindly obliged.


On his way out the door, I also managed to snag a picture of him with one of his secret service agents


Pssst, that's not really Obama. That's Ian. The resemblance is uncanny, I know, but take a second look and you'll see that it really is the munchkin.

Yes, we dressed the little one up as Barack Obama for Halloween and hit the trick or treat trail. His costume was a big hit in the neighborhood, and he promised no tax increases for everyone that gave him candy.

Here are a couple more pics of the evening.

Hitting up the neighbors for candy

Checking out the loot


Happy Halloween everyone!

p.s. The white chicken scratches in Ian's hair are actually supposed to represent Obama's gray hair. See, in my fantasy world, I thought I would have Ian sit down while I strategically placed those gray hairs all over his head. Yeah, that didn't happen and you can only do so much when you are trying to pin a kid down with one arm and draw gray hairs in his head with the other.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Shack

A few weeks ago a co-worker and I were browsing a local book fair. As we were perusing the spiritual book section chit chatting about the books we planned to read, a man nearby overheard our conversation and asked if either of us had read The Shack by William P. Young. We both responded that we hadn't (neither of us had even heard of the book) and with excitement in his voice he proclaimed, "Oh, you just HAVE to read this book. It will change your whole perspective on who God is."

Intrigued, I asked him for a little more background, and our new friend gave a 5 minute spiel as to why The Shack is one of the best books we would ever read.

As Peter* began to speak, it was obvious that he was very passionate about the book. It seemed to stir up emotions from deep within him, and there were a few times when he just had to pause to gather his thoughts. He was speechless.

After our chat with Peter*, both my co-worker and I were excited about this book. At the time, I was in the middle of, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, but I got to a point where I wanted to take some time to absorb the information in that book, and I thought I would go ahead and pick up The Shack and do some light reading.

***OH MY GOSH***

Now I understand why Peter* was so emotional about this book. It was absolutely phenomenal!

Synopsis (taken from barnesandnoble.com):
Mackenzie Allen Philips's youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation, and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later, in this midst of his great sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change his life forever.

The Shack seems to articulate what I've been thinking about for the past couple of years, but couldn't find the words to say. The subject matter ranges from Perceptions of Who God is, Suffering, Forgiveness, Judgment, Good and Evil, and much more.

I will give a warning though. Young definitely challenges what I call traditional Christianity, and although I've only read a small amount of reviews, I can only imagine he has a lot of religious people out there that are upset with him.
But in my mind, this book is not about religion, it is about relationship. Relationships with those around us, and also about being connected to something bigger than you or me. Something that is Divine, something that IS; and that IS-ness, that Spirit, I call that God.

I highly recommend The Shack. It's the type of book that speaks both to your heart, and your head. It takes you on an emotional roller coaster. It..... I don't know what else to say.

Just like Peter*, I'm speechless.


*While I do know the name of the man that recommended the book, I've decided to call him Peter in order to respect his privacy.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Where's the beef?

Those of you that know me, know that for the last 8 or so years of my life, I've avoided red meat like the plague. Before that, I was a big beef/red meat eater. I never gave much thought to it. Growing up in my house, it wasn't a meal without meat. But in my freshman or sophomore year of college, I started to hear about the negative effects of red meat, saw a few gross pictures of the colon (thanks Mrs. P *wink*) and I decided I was all done with it.

Lately though, I've been rethinking my position. My change of heart began about the time I was being wheeled off for my emergency c-section.
In my effort to remain calm, I began doing what I do best. Talking.

I was chatting it up with my nurse and anesthesiologist, and though I had long ago asked them to stop updating me on my blood pressure readings, I must have inquired about the seriousness of my condition. That's when one of the nurses said something to the affect of, "Honey, we want to keep you from having a stroke."

Uh, excuse me? A stroke? OK, apparently you missed something. I do my best to eat well, I work out fairly regularly, and continued to do so when I found out I was pregnant; I'm not the type of person that needs to be concerned about a stroke.

Or so I thought.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I think I'm shying away from the total avoidance mentality when it comes to red meat. In a weird way, I was using it as an insurance policy to guarantee a long healthy life, but let's face it. There are no guarantees. I could do all the "right things" as it relates to health, and still be gone tomorrow.

Now I don't plan to gorge myself on hamburgers and steak (truthfully, they still don't appeal to me), and I still intend to take precautions when it comes to my health, but I think the answer, like most things in my life, is that moderation is the key.

Now, where is that pepperoni pizza?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The night the lights went out

One of the fun things I like to do with Ian, is attempt to scare the crap out of him.
We'll be playing a game of chase, and once he is in a spot where he can't see me anymore, I'll double back, sneak up on him and yell something like "RAAAAAAR." In the old days this used to make him cry (yes, I'll take that mother of the year award now), but nowadays he enjoys it just as much as I do. He has even taken to sneaking upon me and scaring me, although his shout of terror is that high pitched screeching sound that seems to be limited to children age 4 and under.

Anyway, you can imagine how much fun we had when a few evenings ago the entire neighborhood lost electricity around sunset. It took the scare tactics to a whole Halloweenesqe level. Good times.

Here are a few pictures of the blackout. As expected, they are pretty dark, but I thought they would be kind of fun to post :)


Ian and Mommy



Ian and Daddy



Oooooohh, are you scared?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I am a liar

...Or at least that's what Ian would have you believe.

Like any delusional, first-time parent, I believe my child is the best, the smartest, and the funnest kid around. I think other people should feel the same way, so what do I do to accomplish this goal? I brag about him.

That's right, I brag on my kid, and each time I do he manages to make me look like a pathological liar.


I tell everyone about his increasing vocabulary:

Bragging Point 1: "Ian is becoming quite chatty these days. His latest words are: All Done, More, Duck, Door, Yes, and Go, go, go (taught to him by John Paul). Ian, can you say "All Done?"

Ian's Response: ***Silence ***

I tell people how affectionate he is:

Bragging Point 2: "Ian is so sweet. He just loves to give me kisses. Ian, give Mommy a kiss."

Ian's Response: He looks at me as if I have just spit on him.

I comment that he's always on the go:

Bragging Point 3: "Ian is so cute when he walks. Watch. Ian, walk to Momma."

Ian's Response: He begins crawling

I tell people about his infectious laugh:

Bragging Point 4: "When Ian laughs, you can't help but do the same. He has the cutest laugh you've ever heard (In my best funny voice as I prepare to tickle him) Ian, the tickle monster is going to get you."

Ian's response: Crying

Oh and what happens once we are alone?

Like clockwork he starts running, while screaming "Go, go, go", collapses on the floor in laughter, and finishes off by giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Why do I even bother? :)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Things aren't always what they seem

So a few months ago I came across a website that gave me a great idea about prayer. The site, which seems to have a Law of Attraction feel to it, talked about something they called "The Why Game". You are encouraged to play the game with another person, but I found that it was equally effective if you are by yourself.

The purpose of The Why Game is to give you insight into why you want what you want. Essentially it works like this (my paraphrase): You identify what it is that you want, you identify what that want looks like in real life, and then you identify what experience you desire from what you want. Once you complete that cycle, you begin the exercise again, theoretically with more insight into what you want, and go through the process as many times as needed until you get to the heart of what it is you are really seeking.

It sounded interesting, so I decided to give it a go.

It had been over a year since Ian was born, and we were still having a difficult time with insurance paying for his hospital stay. It was stressing me out big time. My plan was to go through the game for this situation, and when I got down to the nitty gritty of what I wanted, I would make that the focus of my prayer.

My first couple of cycles of The Why Game looked like this (click to enlarge):


After a few more rounds of my little experiment, I found that my fundamental desire was to have a strong and healthy family unit, so I decided to change my prayers. Instead of praying for the insurance company to do right by me, as I saw it, my prayers were focused on developing strong bonds between Dan, Ian and myself.

An interesting thing began to happen when I decided to focus on what I truly wanted and allowed God to handle how it came to be. Slowly but surely we started getting insurance statements showing they covered Ian's medical bills.

Now you can take from this little experiment what you want, but one of the interesting things I learned, is that in many cases, the thing that I am completely fixated upon when I pray, is not what I truly desire.

Go figure.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Did you miss me?

So for the past two months I have been completely buried at work. I'm talking late nights until 9pm, working weekends, 12 hour days, etc. It was rough. Anyway, we ended up hitting our deadline, and now I'm free! Since I haven't been posting all that much (yes, I know you all miss my 5 posts per month) I figured I would give a summary of a few things that I've been thinking about over the past couple of months.
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I've decided that Costco is a gift from God. I hate shopping, especially grocery shopping. You go to the store, pick up all the stuff you need, use it all up and what's your prize? You get to do it all again the following week. Not fun. But then, God saw fit to give us Costco. Now, instead of silently cursing because you forgot to pick up pasta for the spaghetti you planned to make for dinner *SURPRISE* Not only do you have pasta for tonight, you have 12 additional packages sitting in your pantry for whenever you need it. If this doesn't convince people that God exists, I don't know what will.


I'm sick of videos on news websites. Are people not allowed to read anymore? There's nothing more irritating than seeing an interesting headline, clicking the link to read the article, only to have Windows Media Player launch and then display
....buffering....
Then you have to sit through some ridiculously loud 15 second advertisement before you even get to the report. I'd rather read plain text any day.


I'm finding it increasingly difficult to toe the party line when it comes to Christianity. I'm a seeker; always have been, and I assume I always will be. I ask weird questions, and often come to unconventional conclusions. That's who I am and I accept that, but I find myself getting frustrated that I'm expected to conform to what "traditional Christianity" teaches. What happens if I just don't agree?


Hurricanes suck. 'Nuff said


Snopes exists for a reason. Use it BEFORE you forward me a message telling me Bill Gates wants to give me a million dollars. Actually, he doesn't want to give me a million dollars. Trust me.
On a similar note, don't forward me a feel good message that at the end says "send this to 575 people, including the person who sent it to you." Umm, no. I'm not going to do it. It's very rare that I ever forward those messages on to anyone, but I'm definitely not going to send it back to whomever sent it to me. Why would I do that? If you decide you want to read the message again, why not just go back to your inbox and re-read it?


If I hear one more person question Sarah Palin's ability to be Vice-President and raise a family, I'm going to scream. You do realize she's not a single parent, right? Why doesn't anyone ask how Barack Obama plans to raise his two young children if he were to become President?


I was saddened when Bernie Mac died. Two things I really enjoy in life are good music, and lots of laughter, and Bernie Mac had a gift for making me laugh until I cried.
"When a kid gets one-years-old, I believe you got the right to hit him in either the throat or the stomach. If you grown enough to talk back, you grown enough to get ****** up!"

Bernie Mac, The Original Kings of Comedy(2000)
Sure, it's a bit crude, but it's also hilarious.

Friday, August 29, 2008

45 years later

Last night, Dan, Ian*, and I watched, as Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination for President of the United States of America.

It was a touching moment.

For the first time in our country's history, a person that is identified** as an African-American, has been nominated for the highest political office of the land.

I fully planned on watching Obama speak, but what was very unexpected, was how emotional (in a good way) it was for me.

I was proud that my grandparents, who were born in the era of "Whites Only" restaurants and bathrooms, were able to witness this. I'm sure it is a day, that never thought they would live to see.
I was excited that my parents, who were students that experienced desegregation of public schools, experienced this.
I was excited for people of my generation, that have witnessed a plethora of firsts for African-Americans.

But most of all, I was excited for Ian.

See, I'm hoping that for his generation, seeing an African-American nominated as a presidential candidate, or any other office with high standing, will be something of the norm. I imagine Ian fully knowing the history of Black people in America, but not being able to even imagine a time where the color of one's skin determined their worth.

We may not all agree with Obama's political positions, but put that aside for just a moment. Last night, the 45th anniversary of MLK Jr.'s I Have a Dream speech, was a historic night not only for African-Americans, but all Americans. It was a night that said "we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood", and that, is change I can believe in.



*Ok, Ian was asleep, but he was in the room while Obama spoke :)
**Describing Obama as being "identified" as an African-America is not meant to be an insult. Obama has both a Black and White parent, and it doesn't seem fair (IMO) to have him choose between the two. However, when a person sees Obama, he is typically viewed as a Black man, and that is the point I was trying to get across.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ian

You see this?


This is my living room.

It's nothing too fancy, just a couch, a couple of chairs, an ottoman, a ladder bookshelf, and a TV (not pictured). I show you this photo, not because I think my living room is wonderfully decorated (I'm working on it). I show you this because you will need it as reference for the rest of this story, so just take a good look and stash it in your memory box.

*****Picture it*****

It's a nice, sunny Saturday afternoon and Dan and I have been straightening up the house. As we tidy up each room and move on to the next, we make sure to close the door to the newly cleaned room. It's a precaution, you see. If we leave the doors open, Ian will crawl into the room, close the door, and then sit right in front of it so that we can't open door. As you can imagine, it's the perfect toddler game, but not so much fun for Mommy and Daddy.

Anyway, once all of the rooms were cleaned, Dan decided to watch some TV in the living room, Ian was playing basketball in the corner next to the TV, and I decided to head into to kitchen to make some lunch.

As I'm preparing lunch, and basking in the glow of our freshly cleaned home, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ian was crawling away from his basketball game. I didn't give it much thought since I knew that we closed all of the doors in the house, which meant he had to stay in the common area. After a couple of minutes of silence from Ian, I decided to find out what he was doing.

"Pooh", I called out. "What are you doing?"

Silence.

Me: "Dan, is Ian playing basketball over there."
Hubby: "Nah, I think he's behind the couch playing with some of his other toys."

Thanking God for open floor plans, I peer over the counter to sneak a peek at the kid.

Hmm, no Ian.

I glanced down the main hallway to see if he was sitting there playing.

Nothing.

At this point, my heart starts racing a little bit. Where the heck is this kid? I'm nervous, but I'm steadily reassuring myself that it was silly to get worked up over this. Obviously he's in the house, and odds are he's fine.

So now I'm thinking maybe I didn't close one of the doors all the way, and he managed to get into one of the rooms. I checked 2 of the bedrooms, and when I still didn't see the master of hide and seek, I decided to ask Dan to help me find him. After another 15 seconds or so of searching I heard Dan exclaim "Boy! What are you doing there?", and then he proceeds to laugh quite loudly.

I hurriedly head back towards the living room where the noise was coming from, and this is what I saw.


Do you know where he is? Go ahead, refer back to the living room pic. I'll give you a minute.
.
.
.

Yep, that rascal crawled behind the ladder bookshelf and was quietly crouching behind it. Crouching, I say! He only stood up once Dan saw him. We thought this was so hilarious that, of course, we just had to take a picture.

When will I ever stop underestimating this kid?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

46 things you probably didn't want to know about me

A friend of mine sent me a fun little quiz today, so I decided to answer via this blog. Feel free to add your answers to your own blog, but please let me know if you do. I want to read your answers as well.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope. As the story goes, I was supposed to be named Rachel, but about 3 days before I was born another family at our church had a little girl and named her Rachel, so my parents chose Melanie.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Feb or March of this year. Ian had his first big fall -- Update: Answering question 17 made me shed a tear.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? uh, sure
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Are you kidding me? Have you read any part of this blog?! (yes, I have a kid)
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes. I rock
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Refer to answer 5
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Nah. I'm more interested in skydiving
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Nut Crunch
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Caramel Turtle Fudge - Blue Bell
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyebrows. Weird, I know.
15. RED OR PINK? Neither. It's all about blue and purple
16. WHAT DO YOU LIKE THE LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF? Nothing. I may not be what society perceives as perfection, but I'm exactly the person I need to be, at this moment in time, and at this stage in my life. That will always be true.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Preston and Paula - May you both rest in peace
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? NA
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gotcha! I'm wearing a skirt (blue jean), and the shoes are brown leather sandals
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A fish sandwich
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My boss talking to my co-workers
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Violet
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Vanilla, Newborns, New Car smell, Chocolate
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mother
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yep, she's swell :)
26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Pro Basketball
27. HAIR COLOR? Brown
28. EYE COLOR? Brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I'm supposed to. I wear glasses when I drive though
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Not nearly enough time to address this question
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Sicko
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Only one? Hmm...Probably peach cobbler
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? NA
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? NA
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Adventures in Missing the Point by Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSEPAD? Dell
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I didn't watch an entire T.V show last night. I saw a little bit of Good Eats and Family Guy
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Laughter
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither. Well, do you count The Grey Album?
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Jamaica
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Living life
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Texas

Monday, July 21, 2008

We went swimming...Well, kinda

This past weekend, we packed up the little one and headed to Dan's hometown. The occasion was a surprise birthday party for my mother-in-law, and it was a lot of fun. It appears that Dan's mom was genuinely surprised, and the party went well. It was a good time to let her know just how special, loved, talented, giving, and inspirational she is, and I think she appreciated it.

Over the weekend, we also decided to take Ian "swimming" for the first time. I put swimming in quotation marks, because what we really did was turn down the temperature in my father-in-law's hot tub, put on our swimming trunks/suits and splashed around in the water. Ian seemed to enjoy himself though, and that's all that matters.

Here are a few pics

Monday, July 14, 2008

Charismatic Church Movement...Who's with me?!

Listen up people 'cause I have something to say. I have an idea, but I'm going to need some help to carry it out.

I am here to propse that we, those who attempt to attend church on a regular basis, begin what I've lovingly named, the charismatic church movement (which from here on out will be referred to as CCM). What is a CCM? I'm glad you asked. CCM is a movement to turn our quiet, reserved, prim and proper traditional churches, into band blaring, hand clapping, praise dancing churches. That's right, I want drums so loud, that you can feel the rhythm in your chest. I want shouts of praise from everyone in attendance. I want preaching so boisterous and extravagant, you can't hear anything else, and do you want to know why I want all these things? Hmm, do ya? Well, I'll tell you.

I'm heading up the CCM so that you, the quiet churchgoer, will be so inundated with noise, you won't even notice the giggling, squealing, crawling, jumping, and yelling, that my 15 month old son is doing.

Now I know it sounds like I want this for purely selfish reasons, but I assure you this isn't the case. I don't want this just for my benefit, I want this for all the parents out there. I'm willing to bet that most parents that have children under the age of 3 (please God, tell me it gets better as they get older) would appreciate this. Just think of this as my act of Christian service.

Oh, and for you parents with your 3 month old infant that naps so sweetly and quietly during church. I see the looks you give me as I carry Ian out of the sanctuary with his legs flailing as he screams "GA GA GA WRAAAAAA". I don't judge you though. No, I just take comfort in the fact that in about 6 months, you will join the rest of us packing sippy cups, juice, snacks, books, toys, tranquilizers, and anything else that will keep your kid quiet for an entire church service.

Yes, I look forward to it, because on that day, we can stand together before God and everyone else, and loudly proclaim "CCM Parents Unite!!!!"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

A year ago today...

On the afternoon of July 10, 2007, Dan and I brought Ian home for the very first time. After a 100+ day stay in the NICU, Ian was finally able to see his room for the first time. It is so amazing to think that an entire year has passed. I still remember all the emotions that were running through me that day. Excitement, fear, worry; and oh my, all the questions I had. How would we be able to keep up with Ian's medication schedule? Did I remember how to work the oxygen tank/concentrator, the apnea monitor, and the nebulizer for breathing treatments? How would I ever be able to sleep without fear of the apnea monitor going off?

But now, here we are a year removed, and Ian is healthy, happy, strong, and all is right with the world. It's also interesting to note that on today, the anniversary of Ian's homecoming, we also celebrate the fact that Ian is officially med free! That's right, this morning Ian took the final dose of his very last medication. Hurray!

In light of Ian's homecoming anniversary, and the end of his medications, we decided to celebrate. Nothing big, just the three of us, hanging out, eating spaghetti, and for dessert we decided to get some pie (yum!). I guess I passed down my love of chocolate, because Ian inhaled the chocolate cream pie. It's cute now, but we may have to nip this in the bud. There can't be two chocolate lovers in the house. It could make for some ugly fights when it gets down to the last piece of chocolate.

Anyway, all in all, it was a good day. I got to hang out with my men, eat some good food, and reflect on the past year. Yep, it was a good day indeed.

What a difference a year makes!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

How do you rate as a husband/wife of the 1930s?

I thought this was funny little quiz. Take the test yourself, if you dare.
I barely made the threshold for an average 1930's housewife. Wow! That's better than I expected. I must be having a good week ;)
Ok, I'm off to go see what the heck it means to "darn a sock."

44

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average

Take the test!


Scoring:

0-24 - Very Poor (Failure)
25-41 - Poor
42-58 - Average
59-75 - Superior
76+ - Very Superior


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

If only it were that simple

I was listening to a talk radio show today, and the host was discussing the latest Don Imus mishap. The host stated that it is often very difficult to discuss racial issues in the media. He identified himself as a 44 year old, White male, and it was his opinion that the moment anyone in the media says something pertaining to race, it can be easily misconstrued, and once that happens the public automatically labels you as a racist. As I was listening and thinking about the points that he was making, he said something that really grabbed my attention. He made the comment, "Any rational person that knows about slavery, realizes how horrible it was, but I'd like to think that we are at a point where we are moving past slavery." *

I sighed aloud, gave Dan a mini-rant about how that statement was short sighted, and silently vowed to turn this into a blog post. So here we go...

The history of U.S. slavery is a painful one. African men, women, and children were abducted from their homes, and forced to move halfway around the world to be used as unpaid servants. These people were auctioned off as cattle or some other type of livestock. Their families were torn apart, mothers and fathers were separated from their children, and wives were separated from their husbands. Slaves were regularly beaten as motivation to work harder, killed for sport, and the women were raped at the master's whim. If women had children in those days, they had no rights to them at all. They were property of the slave owner. These people were robbed of their religion, their culture, they were even robbed of their names (Slaves were often given the last name of their owners. As a result, today, most Black Americans whose ancestry lies in U.S slavery, still retain the surname of their ancestors slave owners).

As if the physical abuse wasn't enough, there was a good amount of mental and emotional abuse that slaves had to endure.
Slaves were consistently told they were ugly, stupid, unworthy of respect, and didn't deserve the same rights as others simply because of their appearance; because of the color of their skin, or the kinkiness in their hair. They were told that they were evil. To sum it all up, Black was bad, White was good, and that's just the way it was. This belief system was regarded as truth by adults, and they in turn taught it to their children. When those children grew up and had children of their own, those very same beliefs were passed down, and the cycle went on and on. Now while the slave owners were instilling these values in their own children, they were also relaying this same information to the slaves themselves, and you know what? The slaves internalized it, and although I don't believe it was intentional, they passed this same belief down to their own children. So what did all of this produce you ask? It produced a nation of both Black and White people that believed that the color of their skin determined their worth. It produced a perception among African-Americans that they were their own worst enemy, and all of this, every bit of it, was based on lies.

Now, U.S. Slavery lasted for over 200 years. Not, 5 years, not 10 years, but 246 years. If we say each generation is about 20 years, slavery lasted for about 12 generations.
After more than two centuries of bondage, slavery became illegal in 1865. The slaves were freed without a dime to their name, but they were freed nonetheless.
But there was a problem. While slavery became illegal in 1865, the legal ramifications of slavery didn't quite end until 1964ish (ie. Civil Rights Act of 1964, Voting Rights Act of 1965) That's basically another 5 generations (1865-1964). And if you notice I said legal ramifications, not social ramifications. Although there were laws on the books that said Blacks were equal, society didn't always agree. If you question whether or not racism was socially acceptable after the Civil Rights Movement, all you need to do is read about the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, which lasted until the early 70's, to realize racism still existed at that time.

Now I'm sure a lot of you reading, know the history of slavery in the U.S., but I wrote that very abbreviated version of it to say this:

What you see today, in 2008, is the product of 17 generations of struggle, pain, intolerance, fear, hate, and disrespect, with a side of physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
To even imply that what had been built, nurtured, and sustained over 17 generations, can and has been eradicated in 2 generations (1965-2008) is downright insulting. Are we as a nation making strides and moving in the right direction? Without a doubt, the answer to that question is an emphatic yes. But to say that slavery and racism are not relevant to our present day society is foolishness, in my opinion.

* Since I didn't record the talk radio show I can't confirm what I typed was a word for word quote, but that was the sentiment expressed.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Loss of Innocence

Reminisce with me for a moment, will you?

Let's go back in time, way back. Back to when storks delivered babies and little people lived inside the television. Back to a time where Santa Claus was real and the Tooth Fairy left money under your pillow. Yes, lets go back...

Let's go to a time of youth; a time of innocence. Ah yes, the good ol' days.

Remember how much fun it was to play outside for hours on end? Or how thrilled you were when your parents bought a new toy for you?

Speaking of toys, do you see this toy below? This is one of Ian's favorite toys.
SportsGame

He will crawl up to the basketball goal, grab one of the toy basketballs, and DUNK IT! The little scoreboard section lights up, and it plays a little song and there is even fake crowd/applause sounds. It's pretty cool.

Now Ian doesn't know about batteries, or the fact that there is a little lever that trips whenever the ball goes through the goal to signal the music/scoreboard. All he knows is that if he can manage to put that ball through the circle, the baby party will begin.

One morning as I was preparing Ian's bottle, I heard him grab the toy basketball. Just a few moments later, I heard "dun dun na naaaaaaa" (that's the best I can do to imitate the initial sound played when a basket is made. use your imagination).

Me: "Whoo hoo!! Way to go Ian! Yeah!!"

As I continued in the kitchen, I noticed that Ian was silent for a little bit. Just when I was about to check to make sure he didn't get into something he shouldn't have, I heard "dun dun na naaaaaaa".

Me again: "Yippee, Pooh. You made another one." <dun dun na naaaaaaa> "Alright Ian, you're on a ro...." <dun dun na naaaaaaa> "Wow, you're getting really goo..." <dun dun na naaaaaaa>

As you can imagine, by this time I'm eagerly heading towards the living room to see my baby Shaq perform. Busy with visions of NBA drafts, early retirement, and season tickets for my favorite NBA team (the one Ian would be playing for of course), it never dawned on me that while I had been hearing the music to signal a basket had been made, I had not been hearing the basketball go through the hoop.

Yep, that's right. When I got to the living room, this is what I saw.

CheaterPooh

If you notice, Ian doesn't have a basketball in his hand. Nope, they are both safe and sound. He did figure out that it wasn't the ball going through the hoop that started the fun, it was the lever.

Ah, they grow up so fast :)

Monday, June 16, 2008

Not the best idea I've had

For Father's day, I thought it would be cool to decorate Dan's card with Ian's footprints and handprints (is that a word?). Ian's footprints were so tiny when he was born, I thought it was be a cool comparison to show just how far he has come.

Impressed with my stroke of genius, I loaded Ian up in the car, and off we went to the craft store to buy blue, non-toxic, water soluble paint. After we made our paint purchase, it was time to go to work. "This shouldn't take more than 5 minutes", I thought to myself. "Get the paint, pour it into a container, dab hands/feet, get the imprints, and clean up. No problem."

What I forgot, is that my sweet baby boy is not the same barely mobile baby of few months ago. That baby of yesteryear was content to lay on his playmat or sit in his bouncy chair for hours on end.
The Ian of today, however, he is a mover and a shaker. He can crawl from the living room to the front door in 7 seconds flat. He's got places to go and people to see and he will not remain in one spot for more than, oh, 10 seconds.

All those facts totally slipped my mind.

Anyway, with our newly purchase paint, I grabbed a container and poured a wee bit of the blue paint into it. That was easy enough. I decided to start with his feet. I figured his feet would be the easiest and I would be able to keep a firm grasp on his foot, on the off chance he decided to wiggle his foot around.
I dipped Ian's foot into the blue paint. He had a look on his face that said "I don't know about this" but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. I went to create the imprint of his foot on the card, and you could've sworn that I stuck his foot into the mouth of a hungry shark. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" he shrieked, and then he did what any normal person would do when trying to defend yourself against a vicious shark attacking your foot. He kicked. I have never seen his left leg move so fast in my life. He kicked and wiggled away from me and then proceeded to roll in the floor, flailing his legs back and forth. When I finally caught him, both his legs and the floor were smeared with blue paint.

I grabbed this still wriggling child, took him into the bathroom and cleaned his legs and feet. I assured Ian that everything was OK and he calmed down.
The freshly calmed Ian and I went to have a look at the card, and there was blue blob that in no way, shape, or form resembled his foot. "Oh well", I thought. "I'll just forget the feet imprints. We'll have better luck with his hands."

That's right, I, the naive parent, still thought I could manage to get decent handprints from the little one. So we repeated the process, except this time with his left hand.
The reaction was immediate this go 'round. After I removed Ian's hand from the paint, he immediately balled it up into a fist and began yelling. I managed to get him to open his hand and quickly dabbed it on the card before he got his hand free, (the kid is freakishly strong) and then he did it. In an attempt to get the paint off of his hand, he smeared it all over his face.
I again, scooped him up and took him to the bathroom. After I made sure that he didn't have any paint in his mouth, I looked at both of us in the mirror and I completely lost it. I started laughing and I couldn't stop. Ian had managed not only to cover his own face in enough blue paint, making him worthy of smurf status, but I was also the proud owner of a few blue streaks on my face as well.
After we were both all cleaned up, I promised myself to make sure all arts and crafts projects take place outside of the house.

Ah, the joys of parenting.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Future Star? You be the judge

My dad had a dream about Ian. In this dream Ian was an 18 year old young man and my dad made the comment that future Ian looks a lot like the young singer Chris Brown.

So what do you think, is he right? Does Ian have a future as an R&B crooner?

Chris Brown photo from www.Rhapsody.com

Friday, May 30, 2008

The "conversation" continues

Remember the email "conversation" that I previously had with my co-worker? Well, he sent me a follow-up email. The things touched on in his reply were:
  • Follow-up to bad things happening to good people
  • Christian faith that is rooted in the fear of Hell
  • Christian leaders that don't welcome tough questions
  • The many differences among Christian denominations
Below is the main portion of my reply. Some stuff has been edited out for privacy.


I know what you mean about coming up with a loss about some of the painful life experiences that we go through. There is one main experience that I’m at a bit of a loss about . . . The main thing I really took away from it was an opportunity to show love . . . I also wonder if maybe it’s not about what I need to learn (it's not all about me), but maybe there are lessons for others involved as well, or maybe someone else will be benefit from watching how I handled the difficult situations in my life. Maybe I can give hope to someone without spirituality or faith that we can make it through the rough times and come out OK in the end. I don't know. I just can't believe all of these things that happen in our lives, and the lives of people around us are completely pointless. I hope you understand, that I’m not trying to provide you with a specific answer as to why XXXXX's mom’s situation played out like it did, I’m just telling you about different thoughts that have run through my head and have given me the tiny bit of sanity and peace that I needed to carry on.

I think some churches do have that don’t ask mentality, and to just have faith, and that if you somehow question God, you are hell bound. I think part of that is due to the fact that clergymen/women of churches don't have the all the answers, and for so long it seems like Christianity has always been about knowing all the answers. I feel like we should be encouraged to ask the hard questions, listen to everyones perspective, and acknowledge that we just don't know it all. I’m trying to learn that I don’t need to have the answers to everything, but that I can sit back and go through the journey of life and just absorb and even enjoy the questions. It’s kind of how I view driving a car. I don’t understand the inner workings of a car. I’ve had people explain spark plugs, radiators, engines, distributer caps, and what not, but I don’t get it. I’ve just decided to focus on the stuff I do understand about cars (oil changes, air filters, tire pressure, alignments) and to enjoy the benefits of the car such as road trips, the music from the radio, air conditioning, and the basic getting from point A to point B.

I also am not a fan of what I’ve heard referred to as fire insurance salesman. These are the people that continually preach a "gospel" of hellfire and damnation. There is no doubt that fear can be a big motivator, but it seems at some point we should attempt overcome fear with love. I like the quote from the bible that says something to the effect of perfect love drives out fear, because fear is based on punishment. I think we've focused on punishment so much that we've forgotten what it means to love.

I once read somewhere that human beings are genetically 99% similar to one another (or some high percentage like that). That was amazing to me, because we (the general public) seem to focus on the 1% where we are different-Hair color, skin color, height, weight, etc. Then when you throw in societal factors like wealth and status, we end up dividing ourselves even more. It seems like this is what is going on in the current state of Christianity and religion as a whole. We are all so busy trying to identify how we are not like one another instead of celebrating the ways in which we are so very similar. I’m really guilty of this. I remember there was a time when I was trying to figure what phrase I should use for my religious identity because I didn’t want to use the word Christianity. I didn’t want people to confuse me with those ‘other’ type of Christians (other = Christians that I disagreed with on some points). I had to realize that all of these labels that we have constructed for ourselves can’t completely encompass all of a person’s individual beliefs. It may get you in the general neighborhood, but if someone wants to know what I’m about, or if I want to know what someone else is about, we just have to take the time to talk and get to know one another.

I have to say, these faith based conversations with my co-worker was most unexpected, but it's been very enlightening.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

First time Grandparents = Temporary Insanity?

So we packed up and went to my hometown for Memorial Day weekend so that Ian could get some face time with my folks. A good time was had by all, but this past weekend confirmed what I already knew in my heart to be true. First time grandparents are crazy.

Seriously, they consider everything that Ian does, good or bad, to be cute and adorable.

I told them the electrical outlet story, and all they could say was "Oh, looks like you have a little engineer on your hands. He's so curious."

We were in church and Ian did not want to sit still. He was crawling in the pews, babbling and flirting with the woman sitting behind us, shouting periodically, just for fun (side note: Ian would so fit in at a charismatic church), and so I decided to do the responsible thing and take him to the nursery. All of a sudden I hear a woman that both looked and sounded like my mother say "No, don't take him out. He's fine. He's not bothering anyone." Are you kidding me? This lady must have been abducted by aliens because this is not my mother.

We went out to eat with my parents. Dan and I are starting to master the 'hurry up and eat before we run out of distractions and this kid goes completely insane' method of dining. My parents not so much. They are taking their time, savoring every bite, and when Ian starts screeching and banging on the table, again, just because it's fun, they giggle and say how cute it is. I look at them, and I can tell that in their twisted little minds, they think the only reason other people are looking in our direction is so that they can make a mental note of just how adorable Ian is.

I may need to have them committed.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Interesting "conversation" with co-worker

So last week my co-workers and I were chatting and somehow the conversation took a turn towards the age old question of why do bad things happen to good people. One of my co-workers began to reminisce about his partner's mom. She was a devout Catholic woman who became very ill in her last days on this earth and he and his partner were in agreement that it seemed so unfair. I think the exact statement was something like "She was a devoted Catholic, prayed to the Saints and all that stuff, and look at what it got her."

I gave a very short, trite statement about how I agreed the situation was unfortunate and even seemed unfair, but I thought the answer to that question, if there was one at all, was a multifaceted one. Anyway, we decided to end the conversation at that point because we had been discussing non work related stuff for a while, and it was time to get back to work. I couldn't get the conversation out of my head though, and I decided to jot down a few notes and turn it into a blog post a little later.

Well, imagine my surprise when I received an email from said co-worker going into a bit more detail of our conversation. Some of the issues covered in his email were:

  • Why is it that people can be devoted to their faith and yet bad things still happen to them
  • Televangelists that seem to be out only to make a buck/Christian hypocrisy
  • Why Christians want everyone else to adhere to their moral code
My response to his email is below, minus the typos of course. Rather than create an entirely new post, I just decided to pull a portion of my email and let that serve as my post.


I can’t say I’ve never wondered the “Why do bad things happen to good people” question. What I’ve come to realize, is that I’m not qualified, nor am I at a place where I can answer that question. So instead my focus has shifted. Instead of asking “Why” I ask “What”. What can be learned from this situation? What good came out of this situation? What lesson did I learn that can be put into practice? What wisdom can I pass on to someone else that encounters something similar? When I started asking those questions, the “Why” wasn’t eliminated, or made any less painful, but my perspective changed. I began to see that not only can good come from bad, but I began to expect good to come out of bad situations.

I also think it boils down to what one expects from their faith. Some consider it a get out of jail free card for all “wrongdoings” and others consider it a lucky charm that should prevent bad stuff from happening to them. Me (and I know you didn’t ask me this), some of the things I expect are: a connection with my Creator (God, Allah, the Divine, the Universe, Mother Earth, or whatever other label you want to put on it), empowerment to become a better person, the power to experience and reflect love, peace/comfort when bad things do happen, and to help others, whether that help is through finances, advice, or just giving someone hope that everything will be ok. The reality I’ve learned, is that if I want to be a “better” person, most times I have to be put in a certain situation in order for that to come to fruition. For instance, if I want to be forgiving I have to have the opportunity to be screwed over. If I want to be patient, I have to have some sort of trying obstacle to overcome. If I want to be courageous, I have to be placed in a fearful situation and attempt to overcome it, etc….You get the point
That’s why I say, what appears to be a crappy situation on the surface, can have good. That doesn’t make the situation suck any less, but again, it changes the perspective.

As far as money grubbing televangelist, or other hypocrites (religious or not), I find their actions despicable, but at the same time I don’t think I am so different. Sure their actions may be different from mine, but the underlying issue I think is the same. Things like greed, dishonesty, jealousy, desire for power, fear, pride, wanting to be appear to be a good person without necessarily becoming a good person…these are all the same things I’m trying to eliminate from my internal makeup. It’s just that when I fail it may not be as apparent as it is with other people. I just figure, I’m not trying to use others as a measuring stick of how good or bad I am or should be. My goal is to be the absolute best me that I can be regardless of what others are doing because honestly, I can never have a true comparison. My absolute best may be a piece of cake to one person, and an unattainable goal to another, and I will never know which is which because I’m can’t be inside another person’s head. What I can do, is acknowledge I’m not perfect, and knowing that, not expect perfection from someone else. I also aim to encourage people to be the best person they can be, and ask them to encourage me to do the same. I don’t always succeed, but that’s my goal.

I agree with you that some Christians want to govern the way that other people live. I don’t agree. I think adults should be able to exert their free will, and do what they please as long as their actions do not infringe on another person’s rights. And while I may disagree with them, and plenty of other people, I still suspect that we are all more alike than we would like to think.


And there you have it. It's the best I could do to address some of his tough issues, but I'd be interested in other people's opinions on this stuff too.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

March for Babies was a success

I'm late with the update, but the March of Dimes - March for Babies was a huge success. We asked our friends and families to sponsor us for the walk, and you guys pitched in and helped us raise over $1000. That is so awesome, and we thank you guys so much.

As for the walk itself, it was fun. The day started out cloudy, but that was a Ok, because we had a nice breeze and it wasn't too hot. We all showed up thinking we were in for a 5 mile walk like last year, but SURPRISE!! They decided to up it to 8 miles. We did the entire thing though, and had a great time doing it. Ian was a trooper. He stayed awake for 7 1/2 miles, but he drifted off at the last half mile. Here are a few pictures of the day.



Our NICU Graduate
NICU_Graduate



The Guys - They're Manly Men
Yippee


Paused to take a picture. Doesn't Ian look thrilled? (The picture is cutoff and I'm to tired to figure out why)
SimsClan

Oh, so sleepy
FinishLine

Jesus Freaks

I know you may be sick of my faith/Ian posts, but oh well, here's another one.

A few months back I was telling you about a international, inter-denominational bible study that I was apart of, and that we were reading the book of Matthew. Well, last night was the final night of that bible study, and it was referred to as "Share Night". Anyone that wanted to speak about how they had been helped, or what they learned by reading the book of Matthew, was encouraged to share. I went with to Share Night, with the intention of sitting back, listening to the comments, and absorbing the positive energy, if you will, but I did not have any intention of speaking.
I started the night just as I planned. It was amazing to hear all of these people talk about how reading a book of the bible, transformed their thinking, their behavior, and their lives. It was quite inspiring. About a quarter of the way through the evening, I began reflecting, generally, on the things that had helped me while reading the book of Matthew. When the night was about halfway done, I began to identify specific things from Matthew that I felt I'd been blessed by, and when the evening was nearing a close, I felt my hand raise in the air indicating I wanted to speak. Now, I don't know what I looked like on the outside, but on the inside....

<Internal Dialogue>

"What the hell am I doing? Maybe if I put my hand down right now she won't see me. Crap, she already saw me and is heading my way. What the hell am I going to say? Ugh, I'm in church, I probably shouldn't be saying thinking hell. Aww, whatever hell is a biblical term, why shouldn't I ..." (the microphone is now in my hand).

</Internal Dialogue>


Now honestly, I don't remember the exact phrasing of what I said since I free styled it, so what you will read here is not a regurgitation of what I said last night, but a detailed expression of the message that I was trying to get across, minus the tears (yes, there were tears).

******

The biggest thing that struck me about the book of Matthew was the power of faith. I'm not talking about faith in going to heaven after I die, but faith about the here and now. That when circumstances look their worst, I can know, trust, and believe that things will turn out, not just OK, but great. The reason I believe that to be true is because of Jesus. I read story after story, where Jesus said something to the effect of "Your faith has healed you", "You are blessed because of your faith", or "Your faith has saved you". The written words of Jesus made me believe that there is something very powerful in believing; something very powerful about the thoughts that I allow to enter my mind. He made me believe that when I prayed for Ian's healing, it was just a little more than lip service, if I didn't choose to believe that God not only could, but would do what I was asking. His words helped me to understand that there is something amazing about having other like-minded people praying, sending out positive energy, or whatever you want to call it, with the expectation of success. That was what I took away from Matthew.

******

Now I know someday there may be someone that stumbles across my blog that completely disagrees with what I'm saying, and as proof, can back it up with a painful story that will make me think about rejecting my previous paragraph. So whoever that is, all I can say is, I'm sorry. I don't pretend to understand, or imagine I can explain all of the ugliness and hardships in this world. I just want to propose that there is something undeniably powerful about the thing that we call faith.