Back down memory lane

March 21st.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to think of that date in the same way. March 21, 2007 was the day that I found out my pregnancy would be a difficult one.
The day started off normal enough. My cell phone alarm went off at 6am, which was the time I usually woke up to work out, but on that morning I decided I didn't feel like exercising. I had stayed up late the night before and I had my 24 week appointment at 9am so I figured I would make it a lazy day and sleep in.

I got up around 8, showered, dressed and hopped in the passenger seat of the car while Dan drove me to the appointment. He was so great about that. He never missed a doctor's appointment. He was already a proud Papa. We had found out a few weeks prior that we were having a boy, and I had been feeling him really kick for the past 4 weeks. It was an exciting time.

When I got to the doctors office it was business as usual. The nurse had me do the same, stand on the scale, pee in a cup, and let me take your blood pressure routine, but when she took my blood pressure, she made a funny face. The nurse left the room and went and got my doctor. When the doc came into the room, we went through the usual routine and she told me how things seemed to be going well, but she noticed my blood pressure was pretty high. She wanted to have the nurse check it a couple more times, but if it was consistently high, she told me she would have to put me on blood pressure medication.

I started to cry.

I'm normally not a crier, but I was convinced that I had done something horribly wrong, and the only way I could express all the emotions running through me was in tears. But, Dan and my doctor consoled me and my little outburst was short lived. After that, I was ready for action. What did I need to do? Did I need to change my diet? I was eating pretty healthy stuff, but I was ready to make changes if needed. The OB told me that if it was just high blood pressure, I just needed to take the blood pressure medication, and they would keep an eye on if for the rest of my pregnancy. She said the only thing that would signal a major problem was if they found something like protein in my urine.

Cue the nurse. I had a substantial amount of protein in my urine. Now I won't pretend to know all of the medical jargon or attempt to give you an exact definition of what that meant. What I can say is that I walked away understanding that my kidneys weren't doing their job to the best of their ability. But I was still ready to do whatever I needed to make things right. I was CONVINCED that I could do something to fix this problem, but my doctor gently assured me that, no, I wasn't doing anything wrong and she explained that from here on out the goal was to keep me pregnant for as long as possible. They would monitor me overnight in the hospital, and if my blood pressure came down I would be allowed to go home, but I would be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. If my blood pressure continued to rise, I would still be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy, but it would be in the hospital.

It was about that time that one of us, I can't remember if it was Dan or me, asked the doctor just how serious this condition was, and she said "I'm going to say this only once, because I don't want you to become overly worried. You know how women used to die in childbirth? This is the condition that caused it." She then explained how far the medical field had come and that I was going to be well taken care of. I loved my OB and really appreciated her honesty. She really helped me put things in perspective.

I have to pause right here and say just how great Dan was during this time, and the difficult days to come. He was my rock, in the flesh, to lean on. I'm sure he had a host of emotions that he was trying to process, but he selflessly put them on the back burner to tend to me, and I love him all the more for it. He's the best.

Now, I could bore you with the details of my extended hospital stay, but I won't, because this post is long enough, and honestly some of it is still painful to remember. The short version is, my blood pressure couldn't be controlled, as a result Ian wasn't getting the nutrients he needed from me, and I had to have an emergency c-section 5 days later.

The silver lining in that dark cloud is that here we are a year later, and we have a happy NICU graduate who brings a smile to our face every day without fail.

Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me. Hopefully, I didn't depress you along the way :)