On the subject of doubt

For a while now I've been silently stalking Redlefty's blog Megaloi -- "Great Things".  He recently wrote a great post on the subject of doubt.  I must admit, I've pondered (and continue to ponder) every single point he presented.  Here's a snippet:

..."If God exists, I'm not sure I'm worshipping the right one

Look at human history and notice how many different gods have been named, praised and defended. There are thousands (millions when you include Hinduism). Is it possible that Christianity has it right? Yes, but the odds aren't overwhelming in our favor.

Even within Christianity, there are so many different perceptions of God. Benevolent father, vengeful deity, distant superpower... some Christians think God is just a big pile of love and others think God intentionally leveled Haiti with an earthquake to punish them for sin. That's a wide, wide range."

Check out the rest of his post "What I'm not sure about". It's a good read and his honesty is refreshing

Merry Happy Holiday of your choosing. Or not

I grew up in a religious tradition that didn't believe in Christmas. Oh don't get me wrong, my family and I exchanged gifts every year, we even put up a tree when I was a small child (at my mother's insistence, but even that didn't last too long), but it was made quite clear from early on that we were in no way celebrating Jesus' birth. You see that would be wrong.

Wrong, you ask? Why would celebrating the birth of Christ be wrong?

Well, the religious group I was reared in believed since Christ never explicitly asked us celebrate his birth as a religious holiday, if you chose to do so you would be participating in "unauthorized worship" of God; And we all remember what happened to Nadab and Abihu when they offered unauthorized fire (worship) to God, right?
What Christ DID ask us to remember, they argued, was his death and resurrection, and the way to do that was through Communion, not some trite holiday that Christ never even instituted. Combine all of that with the pagan origins of Christmas* and the Jeremiah 10:2-4 passage that obviously condemned Christmas trees, and what you had was an airtight case against Christmas.

So instead of saying "Merry Christmas", I was taught to say "Happy Holidays", not to give credence to any other religious celebration mind you, but to declare that we were not celebrating Christmas.

When searching for wrapping paper, we had to be sure to not pick anything that was overtly religious, and you didn't dare buy anything with a Santa Claus on it. Oh, and by the way, we weren't buying Christmas presents, we were buy presents for the holidays.

But there was a problem.

I LOVED CHRISTMAS. I still do.

Christmas trees whether big or small, ornate or simple, I adore them.
Nothing thrills me more than to hear a beautiful choir or soloist sing Silent Night, Joy to the World, or Oh Holy Night.
Christmas Lights: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THEM. I used to beg my parents to take the long way home so that I could ooh and ahh at all of the elaborate decorations.
And even though my church never had a Candlelight Christmas Eve service, when I had the chance to watch them on TV, I thought they were absolutely beautiful.
Of course as a child I enjoyed waking up to presents, but honestly that was just the icing on an already delicious cake.

Over the years I began to notice a shift during the Christmas season. To be fair, I can't say that there was a definite change of mindset, it may be that I simply became more aware of what was going on, but people seemed to focus a little less on the birth of Christ (for those that celebrated it religiously), and more on presents. Instead of candlelight services being shown on television, there seemed to be more and more commercials advertising some super sale of the week.

And then the biggie:

People began to say "Happy Holidays", in an attempt to acknowledge other religious holidays *GASP*

It was official. The war had begun.

Nowadays it's commonplace to hear that we Christians should be on a mission to "take back Christmas". That instead of saying "Happy Holidays" to the sales clerk, you should look him or her square in the eye and say "Merry Christmas. Jesus loves you". And I have read many a blog post, email, leaflet, you name it, reminding me that "Jesus is the reason for the season."


Can I tell you a something? It's just between us right?


I really don't think Jesus gives a rat's you-know-what about whether we choose to celebrate his birth on December 25th.


There, I said it.


As much as I love Christmas and decided as an adult to take time to reflect on Jesus' birth, life, and death, I don't think he cares one way or another.
And while I may have issues with many aspects of my religious upbringing, it's true: Jesus never told us that we needed to celebrate his birth, so if you choose not to do so, I think that's perfectly acceptable.

What I DO believe matters each day of the year, not just during the holiday season, is that we all strive to be joyful, compassionate, and loving people.

So it is with that spirit that I say to anyone reading this

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

*note: If you have never heard of the pagan origins of Christmas and are interested, feel free to google that phrase for details. To be frank, I'm just not interested in linking to it.

Who is in the driver's seat?

There is this sentiment among people of faith that we are committed to "following God." That we are no longer focused on seeking our own will, but instead we have decided to "put God first." This putting God first, it governs our thoughts, our decisions, our very way of life.

If you would have asked me 6 months ago if any of the aforementioned phrases were true for me, I would not have hesitated to answer yes. But if there is one thing this study of the life of Moses is teaching me, it is that God is not the leader in our relationship, particularly when it comes to my decision making process.

See, in order for God to be the leader, I would have to be the follower, and while that statement sounds fairly straight forward, it is something I have to remind myself of on a daily basis. I've realized that my decision making process does not allow God to be the pilot of the aircraft that I call my life. Instead, he is more like a co-pilot with clearance to take over only in the case of emergencies. Don't believe me? Let me show you how I generally make decisions.

We interrupt this post to bring you a very important PSA: I emphasize that this is the way I generally make decisions because there are more steps involved in the decision making process since I got married. Dan and I discuss pretty much everything, however since I'm the one that is putting all of my business out in the street on a blog, I've decided to focus on my part solely.
You may now continue with your reading about my decision making process

Step 1: Think of all possible options for the situation
Step 2: Weigh the pros and cons of each
Step 3: Based on the pros and cons, make a decision that sits well with me
Step 4: Verify the choice I've made doesn't require me to sin, or do something that goes against my conscience
Step 5: Pray that God blesses the decision that I have made, and throw in a caveat that if this isn't the path I should go down, for God to work his magic to make sure it doesn't happen.
Step 6: Take the steps to make my decision a reality


Now for years I've thought that this has been a pretty good way to make decisions.
It seemed to be very logical, it involved prayer, and I even did a check to make sure I wasn't doing anything that went against God's will, as I understood it. After taking a second glance, however, I'm beginning to realize that if I actually placed God first, my decision making process would look like this:

Step 1: Pray for God's direction and guidance in the situation
Step 2: Upon receiving God's instruction, take steps to make God's decision a reality

Can I tell you a little secret? That second approach to decision making, you know the one where God comes first, it makes me nervous. What would my life look like if I truly submitted to God's will on things like: what local church/denomination to be apart of, how many children to have, or not have, whether to work outside of the home, or be a stay at home parent, what church ministry I would be best suited for, if any; The possibilities are endless and the entire process can be quite intimidating.

Sometimes the things God guided Moses to do intimidated him. They weren't logical, and they didn't sit well with him, but he still did it. Moses just went about God's mission with faith that the choices made would be for his good and God's glory. I guess I need to find the courage to do the same.

In need of repair

I think my filter on the things a good Christian is supposed to say (or better yet, not say), is totally broken. A prime example is an incident that occurred in the international bible study that I am apart of.

This year we are studying the life of Moses, and we came to the passage where Moses tells the Levites that, according to God, they should kill 3000 Israelites because they were worshipping an idol (I'm paraphrasing, but you can read the exact text in Ex.32:25-29). Well to make a long story short, I had a brief, yet spirited outburst on how it was ridiculous that we were expected to gloss over this story and it's outcome as perfectly normal. I then posed the question: "If someone killed your family member today, but then explained that it was only because God told them to, how would you feel about it? You would probably say they were insane, right?" I got a few people that agreed with me, and it was immediately followed by an awkward silence (I'm sure the group discussion leader was horrified..sorry).

Just today I was talking with my father about a friend of the family that flew to Amsterdam because he says God told him to go there to pray for a particular man. My dad said he believes this friend is mentally ill, but if this same story were in the Bible our family friend would be praised as a man of faith. What gives?

In my mind, it seems the spiritual insights of the Bible are very much intertwined with the customs, traditions, and legends of the time period in which it was written. Combine that with the fact that we are reading this book through the lens of the particular time period we are living in, and we get to the point of why I'm not fond of using the Bible as an all inclusive "rulebook," for lack of a better term. In today's world we write off God ordained murders and hearing a literal voice of God as mental illness, yet when we read the same stories in the Bible it is perfectly OK.

If you are ever in a room with several Christians and a discussion about -oh I don't know- women holding leadership roles in church, or even actively participating in a worship service surfaces, many Christians (the denomination I grew up in included) condemn it saying that God forbids it, and will then use the same Bible to prove their point. It just seems to be a bit inconsistent.

Why aren't we as Christians allowed to say, "You know, some of the things in the Bible don't make sense to me and may not gel with my experiences and understanding of who God is, but that's OK. And it's OK because my faith is not confined to a book (no matter how inspired it is). My faith is in a Spirit; My faith is in a God that is inspiring me, shaping me, and molding me into a person of Truth, and a person that gives and reflects Love."

What's so wrong with that?

Olbermann: I have some questions

I identify religiously as a Christian, however I am in support of legalizing gay marriage (I explain why here). I know to some this is an oxymoron, and some of my friends disagree with me, but this is my opinion nonetheless.
I stumbled upon a video of Keith Olbermann explaining his take on the subject, and it resonated with me so much I decided to link to it here.

The Shack

A few weeks ago a co-worker and I were browsing a local book fair. As we were perusing the spiritual book section chit chatting about the books we planned to read, a man nearby overheard our conversation and asked if either of us had read The Shack by William P. Young. We both responded that we hadn't (neither of us had even heard of the book) and with excitement in his voice he proclaimed, "Oh, you just HAVE to read this book. It will change your whole perspective on who God is."

Intrigued, I asked him for a little more background, and our new friend gave a 5 minute spiel as to why The Shack is one of the best books we would ever read.

As Peter* began to speak, it was obvious that he was very passionate about the book. It seemed to stir up emotions from deep within him, and there were a few times when he just had to pause to gather his thoughts. He was speechless.

After our chat with Peter*, both my co-worker and I were excited about this book. At the time, I was in the middle of, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, but I got to a point where I wanted to take some time to absorb the information in that book, and I thought I would go ahead and pick up The Shack and do some light reading.

***OH MY GOSH***

Now I understand why Peter* was so emotional about this book. It was absolutely phenomenal!

Synopsis (taken from barnesandnoble.com):

Mackenzie Allen Philips's youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation, and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later, in this midst of his great sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change his life forever.

The Shack seems to articulate what I've been thinking about for the past couple of years, but couldn't find the words to say. The subject matter ranges from Perceptions of Who God is, Suffering, Forgiveness, Judgment, Good and Evil, and much more.

I will give a warning though. Young definitely challenges what I call traditional Christianity, and although I've only read a small amount of reviews, I can only imagine he has a lot of religious people out there that are upset with him.
But in my mind, this book is not about religion, it is about relationship. Relationships with those around us, and also about being connected to something bigger than you or me. Something that is Divine, something that IS; and that IS-ness, that Spirit, I call that God.

I highly recommend The Shack. It's the type of book that speaks both to your heart, and your head. It takes you on an emotional roller coaster. It..... I don't know what else to say.

Just like Peter*, I'm speechless.


*While I do know the name of the man that recommended the book, I've decided to call him Peter in order to respect his privacy.

Did you miss me?

So for the past two months I have been completely buried at work. I'm talking late nights until 9pm, working weekends, 12 hour days, etc. It was rough. Anyway, we ended up hitting our deadline, and now I'm free! Since I haven't been posting all that much (yes, I know you all miss my 5 posts per month) I figured I would give a summary of a few things that I've been thinking about over the past couple of months.

-----

I've decided that Costco is a gift from God. I hate shopping, especially grocery shopping. You go to the store, pick up all the stuff you need, use it all up and what's your prize? You get to do it all again the following week. Not fun. But then, God saw fit to give us Costco. Now, instead of silently cursing because you forgot to pick up pasta for the spaghetti you planned to make for dinner *SURPRISE* Not only do you have pasta for tonight, you have 12 additional packages sitting in your pantry for whenever you need it. If this doesn't convince people that God exists, I don't know what will.


I'm sick of videos on news websites. Are people not allowed to read anymore? There's nothing more irritating than seeing an interesting headline, clicking the link to read the article, only to have Windows Media Player launch and then display

....buffering....

Then you have to sit through some ridiculously loud 15 second advertisement before you even get to the report. I'd rather read plain text any day.


I'm finding it increasingly difficult to toe the party line when it comes to Christianity. I'm a seeker; always have been, and I assume I always will be. I ask weird questions, and often come to unconventional conclusions. That's who I am and I accept that, but I find myself getting frustrated that I'm expected to conform to what "traditional Christianity" teaches. What happens if I just don't agree?


Hurricanes suck. 'Nuff said


Snopes exists for a reason. Use it BEFORE you forward me a message telling me Bill Gates wants to give me a million dollars. Actually, he doesn't want to give me a million dollars. Trust me.
On a similar note, don't forward me a feel good message that at the end says "send this to 575 people, including the person who sent it to you." Umm, no. I'm not going to do it. It's very rare that I ever forward those messages on to anyone, but I'm definitely not going to send it back to whomever sent it to me. Why would I do that? If you decide you want to read the message again, why not just go back to your inbox and re-read it?


If I hear one more person question Sarah Palin's ability to be Vice-President and raise a family, I'm going to scream. You do realize she's not a single parent, right? Why doesn't anyone ask how Barack Obama plans to raise his two young children if he were to become President?


I was saddened when Bernie Mac died. Two things I really enjoy in life are good music, and lots of laughter, and Bernie Mac had a gift for making me laugh until I cried.
"When a kid gets one-years-old, I believe you got the right to hit him in either the throat or the stomach. If you grown enough to talk back, you grown enough to get ****** up!"
Bernie Mac, The Original Kings of Comedy(2000)
Sure, it's a bit crude, but it's also hilarious.

Charismatic Church Movement...Who's with me?!

Listen up people 'cause I have something to say. I have an idea, but I'm going to need some help to carry it out.

I am here to propse that we, those who attempt to attend church on a regular basis, begin what I've lovingly named, the charismatic church movement (which from here on out will be referred to as CCM). What is a CCM? I'm glad you asked. CCM is a movement to turn our quiet, reserved, prim and proper traditional churches, into band blaring, hand clapping, praise dancing churches. That's right, I want drums so loud, that you can feel the rhythm in your chest. I want shouts of praise from everyone in attendance. I want preaching so boisterous and extravagant, you can't hear anything else, and do you want to know why I want all these things? Hmm, do ya? Well, I'll tell you.

I'm heading up the CCM so that you, the quiet churchgoer, will be so inundated with noise, you won't even notice the giggling, squealing, crawling, jumping, and yelling, that my 15 month old son is doing.

Now I know it sounds like I want this for purely selfish reasons, but I assure you this isn't the case. I don't want this just for my benefit, I want this for all the parents out there. I'm willing to bet that most parents that have children under the age of 3 (please God, tell me it gets better as they get older) would appreciate this. Just think of this as my act of Christian service.

Oh, and for you parents with your 3 month old infant that naps so sweetly and quietly during church. I see the looks you give me as I carry Ian out of the sanctuary with his legs flailing as he screams "GA GA GA WRAAAAAA". I don't judge you though. No, I just take comfort in the fact that in about 6 months, you will join the rest of us packing sippy cups, juice, snacks, books, toys, tranquilizers, and anything else that will keep your kid quiet for an entire church service.

Yes, I look forward to it, because on that day, we can stand together before God and everyone else, and loudly proclaim "CCM Parents Unite!!!!"

The "conversation" continues

Remember the email "conversation" that I previously had with my co-worker? Well, he sent me a follow-up email. The things touched on in his reply were:

• Follow-up to bad things happening to good people
• Christian faith that is rooted in the fear of Hell
• Christian leaders that don't welcome tough questions
• The many differences among Christian denominations

Below is the main portion of my reply. Some stuff has been edited out for privacy.


I know what you mean about coming up with a loss about some of the painful life experiences that we go through. There is one main experience that I’m at a bit of a loss about . . . The main thing I really took away from it was an opportunity to show love . . . I also wonder if maybe it’s not about what I need to learn (it's not all about me), but maybe there are lessons for others involved as well, or maybe someone else will be benefit from watching how I handled the difficult situations in my life. Maybe I can give hope to someone without spirituality or faith that we can make it through the rough times and come out OK in the end. I don't know. I just can't believe all of these things that happen in our lives, and the lives of people around us are completely pointless. I hope you understand, that I’m not trying to provide you with a specific answer as to why XXXXX's mom’s situation played out like it did, I’m just telling you about different thoughts that have run through my head and have given me the tiny bit of sanity and peace that I needed to carry on.

I think some churches do have that don’t ask mentality, and to just have faith, and that if you somehow question God, you are hell bound. I think part of that is due to the fact that clergymen/women of churches don't have the all the answers, and for so long it seems like Christianity has always been about knowing all the answers. I feel like we should be encouraged to ask the hard questions, listen to everyones perspective, and acknowledge that we just don't know it all. I’m trying to learn that I don’t need to have the answers to everything, but that I can sit back and go through the journey of life and just absorb and even enjoy the questions. It’s kind of how I view driving a car. I don’t understand the inner workings of a car. I’ve had people explain spark plugs, radiators, engines, distributer caps, and what not, but I don’t get it. I’ve just decided to focus on the stuff I do understand about cars (oil changes, air filters, tire pressure, alignments) and to enjoy the benefits of the car such as road trips, the music from the radio, air conditioning, and the basic getting from point A to point B.

I also am not a fan of what I’ve heard referred to as fire insurance salesman. These are the people that continually preach a "gospel" of hellfire and damnation. There is no doubt that fear can be a big motivator, but it seems at some point we should attempt overcome fear with love. I like the quote from the bible that says something to the effect of perfect love drives out fear, because fear is based on punishment. I think we've focused on punishment so much that we've forgotten what it means to love.

I once read somewhere that human beings are genetically 99% similar to one another (or some high percentage like that). That was amazing to me, because we (the general public) seem to focus on the 1% where we are different-Hair color, skin color, height, weight, etc. Then when you throw in societal factors like wealth and status, we end up dividing ourselves even more. It seems like this is what is going on in the current state of Christianity and religion as a whole. We are all so busy trying to identify how we are not like one another instead of celebrating the ways in which we are so very similar. I’m really guilty of this. I remember there was a time when I was trying to figure what phrase I should use for my religious identity because I didn’t want to use the word Christianity. I didn’t want people to confuse me with those ‘other’ type of Christians (other = Christians that I disagreed with on some points). I had to realize that all of these labels that we have constructed for ourselves can’t completely encompass all of a person’s individual beliefs. It may get you in the general neighborhood, but if someone wants to know what I’m about, or if I want to know what someone else is about, we just have to take the time to talk and get to know one another.

I have to say, these faith based conversations with my co-worker was most unexpected, but it's been very enlightening.

Interesting "conversation" with co-worker

So last week my co-workers and I were chatting and somehow the conversation took a turn towards the age old question of why do bad things happen to good people. One of my co-workers began to reminisce about his partner's mom. She was a devout Catholic woman who became very ill in her last days on this earth and he and his partner were in agreement that it seemed so unfair. I think the exact statement was something like "She was a devoted Catholic, prayed to the Saints and all that stuff, and look at what it got her."

I gave a very short, trite statement about how I agreed the situation was unfortunate and even seemed unfair, but I thought the answer to that question, if there was one at all, was a multifaceted one. Anyway, we decided to end the conversation at that point because we had been discussing non work related stuff for a while, and it was time to get back to work. I couldn't get the conversation out of my head though, and I decided to jot down a few notes and turn it into a blog post a little later.

Well, imagine my surprise when I received an email from said co-worker going into a bit more detail of our conversation. Some of the issues covered in his email were:

• Why is it that people can be devoted to their faith and yet bad things still happen to them
• Televangelists that seem to be out only to make a buck/Christian hypocrisy
• Why Christians want everyone else to adhere to their moral code

My response to his email is below, minus the typos of course. Rather than create an entirely new post, I just decided to pull a portion of my email and let that serve as my post.


I can’t say I’ve never wondered the “Why do bad things happen to good people” question. What I’ve come to realize, is that I’m not qualified, nor am I at a place where I can answer that question. So instead my focus has shifted. Instead of asking “Why” I ask “What”. What can be learned from this situation? What good came out of this situation? What lesson did I learn that can be put into practice? What wisdom can I pass on to someone else that encounters something similar? When I started asking those questions, the “Why” wasn’t eliminated, or made any less painful, but my perspective changed. I began to see that not only can good come from bad, but I began to expect good to come out of bad situations.

I also think it boils down to what one expects from their faith. Some consider it a get out of jail free card for all “wrongdoings” and others consider it a lucky charm that should prevent bad stuff from happening to them. Me (and I know you didn’t ask me this), some of the things I expect are: a connection with my Creator (God, Allah, the Divine, the Universe, Mother Earth, or whatever other label you want to put on it), empowerment to become a better person, the power to experience and reflect love, peace/comfort when bad things do happen, and to help others, whether that help is through finances, advice, or just giving someone hope that everything will be ok. The reality I’ve learned, is that if I want to be a “better” person, most times I have to be put in a certain situation in order for that to come to fruition. For instance, if I want to be forgiving I have to have the opportunity to be screwed over. If I want to be patient, I have to have some sort of trying obstacle to overcome. If I want to be courageous, I have to be placed in a fearful situation and attempt to overcome it, etc….You get the point
That’s why I say, what appears to be a crappy situation on the surface, can have good. That doesn’t make the situation suck any less, but again, it changes the perspective.

As far as money grubbing televangelist, or other hypocrites (religious or not), I find their actions despicable, but at the same time I don’t think I am so different. Sure their actions may be different from mine, but the underlying issue I think is the same. Things like greed, dishonesty, jealousy, desire for power, fear, pride, wanting to be appear to be a good person without necessarily becoming a good person…these are all the same things I’m trying to eliminate from my internal makeup. It’s just that when I fail it may not be as apparent as it is with other people. I just figure, I’m not trying to use others as a measuring stick of how good or bad I am or should be. My goal is to be the absolute best me that I can be regardless of what others are doing because honestly, I can never have a true comparison. My absolute best may be a piece of cake to one person, and an unattainable goal to another, and I will never know which is which because I’m can’t be inside another person’s head. What I can do, is acknowledge I’m not perfect, and knowing that, not expect perfection from someone else. I also aim to encourage people to be the best person they can be, and ask them to encourage me to do the same. I don’t always succeed, but that’s my goal.

I agree with you that some Christians want to govern the way that other people live. I don’t agree. I think adults should be able to exert their free will, and do what they please as long as their actions do not infringe on another person’s rights. And while I may disagree with them, and plenty of other people, I still suspect that we are all more alike than we would like to think.


And there you have it. It's the best I could do to address some of his tough issues, but I'd be interested in other people's opinions on this stuff too.

Jesus Freaks

I know you may be sick of my faith/Ian posts, but oh well, here's another one.

A few months back I was telling you about a international, inter-denominational bible study that I was apart of, and that we were reading the book of Matthew. Well, last night was the final night of that bible study, and it was referred to as "Share Night". Anyone that wanted to speak about how they had been helped, or what they learned by reading the book of Matthew, was encouraged to share. I went with to Share Night, with the intention of sitting back, listening to the comments, and absorbing the positive energy, if you will, but I did not have any intention of speaking.
I started the night just as I planned. It was amazing to hear all of these people talk about how reading a book of the bible, transformed their thinking, their behavior, and their lives. It was quite inspiring. About a quarter of the way through the evening, I began reflecting, generally, on the things that had helped me while reading the book of Matthew. When the night was about halfway done, I began to identify specific things from Matthew that I felt I'd been blessed by, and when the evening was nearing a close, I felt my hand raise in the air indicating I wanted to speak. Now, I don't know what I looked like on the outside, but on the inside....

<Internal Dialogue>

"What the hell am I doing? Maybe if I put my hand down right now she won't see me. Crap, she already saw me and is heading my way. What the hell am I going to say? Ugh, I'm in church, I probably shouldn't be saying thinking hell. Aww, whatever hell is a biblical term, why shouldn't I ..." (the microphone is now in my hand).

</Internal Dialogue>


Now honestly, I don't remember the exact phrasing of what I said since I free styled it, so what you will read here is not a regurgitation of what I said last night, but a detailed expression of the message that I was trying to get across, minus the tears (yes, there were tears).

******

The biggest thing that struck me about the book of Matthew was the power of faith. I'm not talking about faith in going to heaven after I die, but faith about the here and now. That when circumstances look their worst, I can know, trust, and believe that things will turn out, not just OK, but great. The reason I believe that to be true is because of Jesus. I read story after story, where Jesus said something to the effect of "Your faith has healed you", "You are blessed because of your faith", or "Your faith has saved you". The written words of Jesus made me believe that there is something very powerful in believing; something very powerful about the thoughts that I allow to enter my mind. He made me believe that when I prayed for Ian's healing, it was just a little more than lip service, if I didn't choose to believe that God not only could, but would do what I was asking. His words helped me to understand that there is something amazing about having other like-minded people praying, sending out positive energy, or whatever you want to call it, with the expectation of success. That was what I took away from Matthew.

******

Now I know someday there may be someone that stumbles across my blog that completely disagrees with what I'm saying, and as proof, can back it up with a painful story that will make me think about rejecting my previous paragraph. So whoever that is, all I can say is, I'm sorry. I don't pretend to understand, or imagine I can explain all of the ugliness and hardships in this world. I just want to propose that there is something undeniably powerful about the thing that we call faith.

The Gay Marriage Debate

A message board that I visit frequently had a thread about the subject of gay marriage. Previously, whenever the subject of gay marriage would arise I would shrug it off and not even think to form an opinion one way or another. My reasoning was that it didn't concern me so it didn't really matter. If the legislation passed that was fine, and if it didn't, that was fine too. After all, it didn't interfere with my life. Anyway, for some reason while reading the thread I decided it was time to really ponder the issue.
I've decided that I firmly believe gay marriage should be legalized, and surprisingly it didn't take a long time to come to that conclusion.
Not allowing adults of the same sex to marry is discrimination plain and simple. It's actually reminiscent of a time when interracial marriage was illegal. Now, most of the reasoning that is presented to argue against gay marriage is based upon religious (mainly Christian in this country) principles that God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman. The problem with this argument is that there is a separation of church and state in America. If homosexuality is considered immoral or sinful by you or your church (which is another subject for another day) that's fine. The clergy of said church are not obligated to perform a same-sex marriage ceremony or to even recognize it religiously speaking. But that rationale should not interfere with the government's ability to recognize a same-sex marriage.
By not legalizing gay marriage, America is sending a very mixed message. On one hand, you are not allowed to discriminate based on sexual orientation for job opportunities or housing, but you are allowed to discriminate when it comes to a legally recognized marriage.
It's inconsistent and unfair in my opinion.

If we don't learn our history...you know the rest

For the past 5+ years I've been committed to re-examining my faith. So often our faith (or lack there of) is simply handed down from our family and we never investigate or even identify what it is that we believe. So I decided a while ago that I was going to take the time to develop my own relationship with God, the Creator, the Universe, or whatever name you choose and accept that it may look differently from what others think it should. My main goals were (and still are)

-to identify what I believe,
-to pinpoint why I believe what I believe,
-to give myself permission to change those beliefs
-to acknowledge there are some things I won't be able to figure out

I consider myself to be Christian. This was the faith that was handed down to me by my parents and the dominant religious faith of Americans. I acknowledge that those two facts alone probably contribute more to me following Christianity than probably I even realize. If I happened to be born in a different country and culture I can't deny that would greatly influence my religious identity. Nonetheless, I do attempt to live my life by principles outlined by Jesus so for all intents and purposes I'm a Christian.
Anyway, as a part of my spiritual growth process I joined an international, inter-denominational bible study, which will remain nameless as I don't know the "rules" of this whole blog thing. The study goes through a particular book of the bible over the length of an entire school year. I like it because it provides a very structured approach to bible study and allows me to come to my own conclusions with minimal outside influence. This year the study is on the book of Matthew and I have come to a conclusion about something. I don't think there is any way we can know what the "Return of Christ" is going to look like.
In reading Matthew, the Jews had expectations of what was going to happen when their Messiah came based on how they understood the scriptures (our old testament). It was said that Elijah, who is reported to have ascended into heaven years earlier, would return first and then after that the Messiah would come. This savior was going to be the king of all kings and rescue Israel from oppression. And what do they get? They get some hogwash of John the Baptist being Elijah, and they get Jesus. A rule breaking, wine drinking, guy that hangs out with sinners and others of ill rapport. Let alone, this guy claims that he is in fact their king. He doesn't appear to be royalty, he's hated by many, is called a blasphemer, and if he is a king he doesn't appear to be saving Israel from anything.
I'll admit it. Had I been in around during that time I would've totally dismissed Jesus and his claims. Why? Because he wouldn't have matched up with how I interpreted the scriptures, and this leads me to the point of the post. Why do we as Christians think we can pinpoint the what and how of Jesus' return? Sure, it's fun to speculate, but why fuss and argue over it? It could very well be a symbolic return. It could be that the literal person of Jesus isn't going to return, but the world will come into the fullness and enlightenment of his message. It could be, dare I say it, like Elijah "returning" in the form of John the Baptist, a new messenger with the spirit (character) of Jesus, or it could very well be a literal return with trumpets sounding, white horses, and all that jazz. My point is I don't know and I'm fine with that. I'm going to try and learn from the history of my forefathers in faith and not presume to know exactly how this whole thing will play out.