Just call me Mr. Monk

For those who don't know about it, Monk is a TV show about a brilliant private detective, named Adrian Monk, that suffers with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). One of his issues is germs. He avoids human contact if he can, and always has a handy wipe available just in case he comes into contact with a large amount of germs.

You know, I think that guy is on to something.

Over the past few months I have become obsessed with germs. During Ian's stay in the hospital, the doctors impressed upon us the importance of handwashing to keep Ian healthy. Just going along in our everyday life we come into contact with millions of germs, and once we touch someone else those germs are transferred. We didn't want any sick germs, as I call them, making their way to Ian so we needed to be careful.
Umm, yeah.....I may have taken those instructions further than they intended.

I no longer look at things the same way. I analyze the germ potential of everything.

I submit to you Exhibit A: A Grocery Shopping Cart
To most, this is a handy tool to used to stash and transport a large amount of groceries.
Nope. To me the handle on a shopping cart is germ heaven. Hundreds of people touch that handle and only God knows where their hands have been. You know that crazy lady you saw at HEB scrubbing her shopping cart with anti-bacterial wipes? That was me.

Exhibit B: Money
Have you ever thought about how many hands have touched the $20 bill you have in your wallet? Seriously, think about it. The $20 bill could have made its way here from clear across the country and come into contact with thousands of grimy, germ-filled hands. Plus, people put money in the strangest places. Some women keep it in their bra, sometimes people put money in their shoe...Oh, the horror!

Exhibit C: Children
Oh sure, they're cute and cuddly and loads of fun, but they are also little germ incubators. They cough in their hands, wipe snot from their noses, and place their hands on every possible surface and in every crevice of their tiny little bodies.

And the list goes on. Computer keyboards and mice. Telephones, door handles, elevator buttons, ATM's, these germs are freaking everywhere man.

Oh, and every time I see someone "wash" their hands by slapping a little soap on and immediately rinsing, I just want to yell "You call that washing your hands? All you did was get your hands wet." Meanwhile, I'm over here silently humming the alphabet song to ensure that I'm scrubbing my hands for at least 15 seconds, and at the same time inspecting my fingernails to make sure dirt isn't hiding out underneath them.

*Sigh* I may need therapy