Listen up people 'cause I have something to say. I have an idea, but I'm going to need some help to carry it out.
I am here to propse that we, those who attempt to attend church on a regular basis, begin what I've lovingly named, the charismatic church movement (which from here on out will be referred to as CCM). What is a CCM? I'm glad you asked. CCM is a movement to turn our quiet, reserved, prim and proper traditional churches, into band blaring, hand clapping, praise dancing churches. That's right, I want drums so loud, that you can feel the rhythm in your chest. I want shouts of praise from everyone in attendance. I want preaching so boisterous and extravagant, you can't hear anything else, and do you want to know why I want all these things? Hmm, do ya? Well, I'll tell you.
I'm heading up the CCM so that you, the quiet churchgoer, will be so inundated with noise, you won't even notice the giggling, squealing, crawling, jumping, and yelling, that my 15 month old son is doing.
Now I know it sounds like I want this for purely selfish reasons, but I assure you this isn't the case. I don't want this just for my benefit, I want this for all the parents out there. I'm willing to bet that most parents that have children under the age of 3 (please God, tell me it gets better as they get older) would appreciate this. Just think of this as my act of Christian service.
Oh, and for you parents with your 3 month old infant that naps so sweetly and quietly during church. I see the looks you give me as I carry Ian out of the sanctuary with his legs flailing as he screams "GA GA GA WRAAAAAA". I don't judge you though. No, I just take comfort in the fact that in about 6 months, you will join the rest of us packing sippy cups, juice, snacks, books, toys, tranquilizers, and anything else that will keep your kid quiet for an entire church service.
Yes, I look forward to it, because on that day, we can stand together before God and everyone else, and loudly proclaim "CCM Parents Unite!!!!"
Monday, July 14, 2008
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3 comments:
Wow... The CCM? Well I don't have kids yet, but my cousin has 4. Many nights I have babysat for her and had to bring all four of them to church the next morning. Naturally, the littlest one always ends up having to be taken out...waiting until we are deep in prayer to fuss and cry. But do I want the sound of drums, a band, and praise dancers to drown them out? Absolutely not! I don't think mothers should be ashamed or embarrassed because their baby is acting the way a baby ought to. Any church member bothered by that has other issues. --However, it is frustrating to sit near a parent who refuses to take a screaming child out. After a while it disrupts everyone around you.-- I can't say that when my little cousin starts whinning, my heartbeat doesn't speed up and that I don't hope and pray that he calms down. I always wish that a sip from the bottle or a "baby cracker" will buy me some more time. But if not, we're off to the nursery.
I do agree, however, that we should offer up a worship in spirit and in truth with the greatest amount of enthusiasm. After all, God has been so good to us!
Why hello there lady!!
It's good to hear from you. This post was meant to be silly, although I do stand by the fact that if there were more noise I wouldn't get "the look of shame" as much :)
Well shame on the people who are so intolerable that they can't stand to hear Ian do what babies do all the time. A while back, this particular baby crying in church...I know...nothing new. But this other woman who was about 2 rows in front made a point to turn around and stare at the mom as if she had committed a criminal offense. It was kinda tacky b/c she stayed turned around. My mom says..."She just don't know! One day, when she has kids, she's gonna wish that folks would just turn around and pay attention to the sermon."
Hey, I say the next time Ian crys and someone gives you "the look," pass Ian over to them and tell them..."You handle it!"
So how is the rest of life going for you? I have been meaning to come and look at your blog since you first sent that email. But I'm just terrible...what can I say. I hope things continue to go well for you guys. So when is the next time you are coming to Houston? We SOOOOOOO need to catch up! :)
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